In a move that surprised no one, everyone’s favorite humor magazine just included everyone’s least favorite abusement park on its list of the 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 2015. Mad magazine named SeaWorld the 15th dumbest thing of the year, tied with infamous Subway sandwich spokesperson turned child porn convict Jared Fogle.
The page about the company calls SeaWorld “a whale of a fail” and includes a mock “open letter to SeaWorld customers.”
In an especially funny passage, the magazine takes a jab at SeaWorld’s “care” of the orcas and its willingness to sacrifice animal welfare for profits. Posing as SeaWorld talking to its customers, the magazine writes:
“Our very first orca whale, Torsa, debuted in 1964. Our second orca whale, Shamu, replaced Torsa two weeks later, after we learned that whales cannot survive in a tank filled with Pepsi. That discovery cost us a lucrative sponsorship, but we were forced to make the switch to water—because a greater understanding of whales’ habitats is an important part of our fundamental research mission! And although our individual whale performers have come and gone, we are proud to have continued using the same original water from 1964.”
As far as years go, 2015 certainly has been a “dumb” one for SeaWorld.
Earlier this year, in a desperate attempt to repair its image, SeaWorld launched a Twitter campaign encouraging followers to send in questions using #AskSeaWorld. The campaign backfired:
Dear #SeaWorld, Tilikum has a question for you too. #AskSeaWorld pic.twitter.com/3YkEjBuMFO
— PETA (@peta) March 27, 2015
.@SeaWorld so do you starve them before or after you make them perform
— Lorena (@lorenarenae) March 26, 2015
.@SeaWorld why do you provide more area for us to park our cars than you give these animals to live? #AskSeaWorld
— Kelli Lovett (@KellisKupcakes) March 26, 2015
#AskSeaWorld How does being used as a surfboard improve Kasatka’s health and well-being? pic.twitter.com/UnqdSyxCGd
— Andrea Wilson (@andrea_orcalove) March 26, 2015
SeaWorld also announced this year that it would phase out orca shows, but not really. When pressed about the details, SeaWorld corporate execs were short on specifics, other than saying that some “tricks” would “probably” be eliminated but that the orcas would still jump and splash. Hmm.
However you look at it, as long as SeaWorld insists on imprisoning orcas in tiny concrete tanks and forcing animals to do mindless tricks for audiences, it’s going to have more “dumb” years.
Let’s hope this is the last year SeaWorld makes this list and that it decides to do the right thing by eliminating its orca shows and retiring the animals to seaside sanctuaries.
What You Can Do
Help orcas imprisoned at SeaWorld by clicking here.
